Many things running through my mind right now. I'm feeling kinda lost and I'm not sure whether am able to cope with it alone. In another 29 more days, Bee will be starting his 2-years NS. Really don't wish this day to come. This feeling suck ttm! He told me that he was selected to go Italy to play football and might be going there for 2 weeks in July. So if he really go, we only have like 2 weeks to spend time together for now. I know I shouldn't be selfish and only think about myself, furthermore not many people has the chance to visit Italy. He told me he don't bear to go army because of me... He don't want to go Italy because of me... Sigh.. What can we do? I think when he kept saying he's ready to go but deep down his heart he just don't bear to. We just have to endure all this shit and just take it as a journey for us. ENDURE ENDURE ENDUREEEEE!!!!!
I'm starting school next Tuesday and I'm still not sure whether I'm prepared for all this or not. Taking part-time study is not easy, yes I know. Work up early in the morning, go work, after work go school till 10pm. 3 times a week. Burn away my Friday night especially Friday is the day they booked out. Totally hate it ttm! He told me he will come fetch me after he booked out. I believe we will cherish the moment together even more. I'm not sure if I'm able to make it without him by my side. I know he's always there for me but we can't be like in the past reaching each other, just a phonecall away whenever we want to anymore. I'll be working even harder than now for the next 15 months to fight for the future we wanted.
Bee, don't worry about me, I'll take good care of myself and study hard. I'll wait for you to come home. Let's work hard together okie? No matter what happen, we'll always be together!
I love you boy and I always do <3
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